This Woman's Work
by BeautyIsHerName
Summary: Maxwell. All the things we should've said that I never said. All the things we should've done but we never did. All the things we should've given but I didn't. A heated argument reveals the truth. DIXONNE *Please Review* *DISCLAIMER*
1. Chapter 1

The hot muggy air clung to them. They had found their way back together, but it was not the same. Hershel. The sense of security. It was all taken away from them. Their eyes showed the harshness they endured for months. And the apparent mistrust for the Termites. This group who did not hide their true intentions from the beginning.

Garret.

Mary.

Their purpose was to help only themselves. Michonne didn't know whether to hate or envy them. These lethal people did everything in their power to stay alive. Killing. Stealing. The ends were justified by the means. But her group was different. Rick was different.

He was nostalgic to the old ways of life. Even with his hardcore shell, he still wanted to believe in something more. He still wanted to give Carl a bright future. She did too because she loved the boy. Dreams of that traumatic night.

That pedophile. Joe. Their intentions with Carl. With all of them. The blood on their hands that could not be erased. There was no turning back. No trusting in others to do the right thing anymore. The termites had every reason to do what they did. The bitterness and harness festers and manifests into something stronger. Something that killed faith and beliefs.

There was no hope in this cure Eugene spoke of. All that was promised was death. Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. Andre'. Andrea. Terry. Mike. Everyone she came in contact with left her. She was numb, but they all were. Each was monster in flesh. It became second nature to do the wrong thing. Anything to not lose this war against the undead.

The little shack provided enough shelter for rest. Sleeping with one eye open was natural in this time. Enemies working together for the same cause was too. But the word 'enemy' had a lethal meaning.

Michonne was tired but her body would not let her rest. It kept conjuring possibilities of this future war with the Termites after they made it to Washington. Rick believed in this mission.

She didn't.

Their leader could only lead and predict so much. Abraham could only fight so much. And Daryl….

He wasn't who he used to be. At least with her anymore.

He didn't want to remember her. Or their old times. He had found a friend in Carol and love in Beth. And once again she was tossed to the side for something better. Like Andrea. Not that Rick knew of this tension, and she wanted to keep it like that. She couldn't break his heart more.

It was inevitable that Daryl would find someone to call home. Especially in the beautiful, innocent farmer girl. Why didn't she tell him when she had the chance? She thought she had more time. That the Governor was forever gone. Wiping her tears, it shocked her that she could still cry. With dreams of her former life flashing through her mind, she woke up in cold sweats.

Walking outside, she unsheathed her sword. Her eyes were mindful of her surroundings as her body gave in. She felt her knees hit the ground. Planting her hands on the hard dirt, she broke down. The family she found with Rick and Carl was not enough for her. The moment Daryl came back to them, she felt like she had woken from a nightmare. But she couldn't enjoy it because of Joe and his gang. It all happened too quickly.

Death was not punishment enough for those men. She did not use to be like this. Taking joy out of others' pain. They deserved it because Carl would never be the same. She knew it was harder to be a woman in this world, but to be a child and endure that…..She would give her life up for that boy.

This black heart was eating her slowly.

Daryl watched her to leave. She would always leave him behind. And it reminded him that he was not important in her world. Rick was the one. Carl was the one. No matter what he felt, the universe had bigger plans for the three of them. It guided him back to Beth. The light in his tunnel. She was a symbol of the good in this world. But he didn't want good. He wanted great.

The strength, intellect and grace Michonne processed was all he could think of. Burning down that cabin was the hardest thing he had ever done, but it was the best way to get over her ghost.

But it was harder to realize she was still alive. And worse, she had moved on. And so did he. Tried to at least.

Beth laid on his chest. They were two souls looking for something to hold onto. He was her anchor, but she was not his. Neither was Carol. It would be so much easier if they were. If Rick and Carl didn't love Michonne, things would be different.

Rick his brother. The man who had faith in him when no one else did. His brother gave him a new meaning to live.

The day the Governor destroyed everything they worked so hard to attain. The way he displayed Michonne and Hershel like his trophies. He would never forget. He blamed himself for not getting to her quicker to save her. Maybe that was why he avoided her. It would help him live down his shame.

If he had gotten to her sooner, it could have been them together for months. How they would have gone back to "their" cabin…..

But it did not make sense to wish for how things should be. Placing Beth to the side, he made light steps towards her.

Michonne punched the dirt until her knuckles hurt. The guilt, hate, and confusion weighed her down. Her grunts grew louder. She couldn't find the Governor in time. Why couldn't she keep the one thing that kept her happy in this world? She cursed to herself as she heard footsteps, she was not mentally prepared to handle a human or the undead. Looking up, she paused as Daryl stood before her. Those blue eyes still had power over her.

The two of them again. But she would not fall for this mental trap. After this conversation, he would go back to Beth. And he should because she needed him.

Daryl offered his hand as she ignored it. Her stubbornness was both a strength and weakness, but he was persistent.

Michonne didn't know where she walking. All she wanted was to get away from this man. To not remember how it felt to be with him.

"'Chonne stop." His deep voice captured her. All the tension. All the games would stop with this conversation.

"Can I have a moment by myself? Is that so hard to ask for?" Daryl felt a tinge of pain with her back turned to him. Her voice was hard, but he knew her too well.

"Don't get mad at meh just cause I was worried bout yah." Michonne huffed at his words. He was probably following Rick's orders.

"Bullshit. I need for you to do what you have been doing. Staying away from me." She headed towards the woods as Daryl gripped her wrists.

"Yah ain't goin nowhere." He would do everything in his power to make her listen to him.

"I'm not Beth. I'm not going to do something because you tell me to. I have my own mind." She attempted to hit him as he caught her hand.

"Woman listen." Their faces were inches apart. Daryl reveled in her body being near him. Her dark eyes no longer had their cold bearing.

"No you listen. " Michonne pushed him away. "You practically haven't spoken to me since we met back up again. Now you expect for me to listen you?"

"Damnit Michonne. Why do yah got tah be so difficult? I don't want yah to leave again…" He reached out to her again.

"You mean like how I left you to go hunt the Governor. How all of this is my fault. Hershel's dead. We lost our home. I lost you. Why I can't even sleep because my dreams plague me every night." Daryl wiped her tears.

"Michonne. It ain't yer fault."

"Yes it is. You know it that is why you hate me. That why you can barely look at me. It's why I hate myself." Tears fell harder.

Daryl held her wrists. He knew she would explode. Her feelings could be only bottled up for so long. Like with Andre'. And just like that time, he was here with her. They had both shared that bond of losing a loved one to the Governor. For so long, they had fought against walkers that they forgot how evil humans could still be.

"I don't blame yah. I blame myself for not making yah stay. Tha Governor didn't want to be found." He rubbed her sore knuckles.

Michonne took in Daryl's features. His deep brown hair had grown as well as the grey hairs in his beard. She wanted to touch him. Take in this moment that she could only relive in her memories.

"Stop lying to me." She snatched her hand away. "If you wanted me to stay why didn't you tell me."

"Because I didn't know you wanted meh to. I didn't know. I didn't know." He repeated.

It was at that moment Michonne felt his pain. Shared his pain. It was like the old times again. Both were overwhelmed by emotions they could not describe. But this had needed to happen.

Both were searching each other's eyes.

Michonne shook her head. Hating how her body was welcoming his touch again. He should have known that she needed him the most. All the time they spent together. Drinking. Tracking. Being able to depend on one another.

"It doesn't stop the fact that it still happened. Now we are here hoping that Eugene has this cure." The bitterness dripped from her voice.

"It could be true."

"Is that what Beth said?"

"No. Rick did." The immediate silence caused her to look away.

Rick their fearless leader. The man who put life inside of her again. He saved her time and time again. Like she had him but it didn't erase what she really wanted. Why didn't she love him? Why couldn't she let Daryl and this jealously she had for Beth go.

Daryl had no right to ask if anything happened between them. But the minute he came back, he noticed their unbreakable bond. She was now Carl's mother. She had put herself in the position to not be with him. He wanted her happy regardless. Seeing her after those months. Doing his all to protect her from Joe. Sacrificing himself for them all. Rick could and would everything to protect her….

"At times Rick sees what he wants to see. He's not like you." She didn't mean for that last part to come out.

"I should go back inside and rest."

"Wait." He gripped her wrist. Lacing their fingers together. "I ain't done Michonne."

"I'm done talking. It's never got me anywhere in this world. You of all people should know that. Daryl I'm tired of fighting. And having to be strong for Rick and Carl all the time. It's a sacrifice I am willing to take but I have no one to be my strength. I can't be strong all the time." He embraced her to her surprise.

Beth had to be the one to show him this. He smelt the same. That masculine scent. She never thought she would feel his arms around her again. Resting her head on his chest, she wrapped her arms around his waist. She was home again, but that wouldn't last.

"Daryl. Go." She tried to be strong.

"No. I cant' do that. Not now. Not after all this. Don't…."

"That is why you have to. So much has happened. So much has changed. Everyone has found something that was remotely close to their old life but me. Rick and Carl have me. You have Beth and Carol. And its like I'm still the outsider."

"No yah aint. Yah got meh. Yah always had meh."

"No I don't. I'm fine with this. I am. I have always been the loner. It would be crazy if I thought you and I could….we just aren't meant to be. I can live with that."

"But I can't Michonne. I thought yah were dead. I had nuthin left. Then I saw yah and Rick. The way he looks at you."

"I don't want Rick. I never did."

"I don't want Beth. Or Carol. Hell. I Just want yah."

"but Beth can love you better. Even Carol. You know that. There is nothing that we can do with these feelings. I spent so long time hating you to hide how much I….." She paused as she looked in his clear blue eyes.

"Beth has made you into this open person. You aren't afraid to show how you feel. I'm glad you weren't by yourself. I….."

"Michonne." His deep voice stopped her.

"No. Listen. It's not me to talk about my feelings Daryl. Half the time I wish I didn't have them. I've convinced myself that I can't feel but you make me know otherwise. I care for you."

"I care fer yah too. And I'm sorry it took meh this long to say it. I see Beth and Carol as sisters."

"But they don't. They see you as their protector. It's much more. Like Rick sees me as this mother figure for Carl. He loves me. They love us."

"We need to stop thinking about what they want and think about what we want."

"But we don't even know what that is."

What was the point of talking if nothing was accomplished? Their feelings for one another were expressed but nothing could come out of it. Michonne closed her eyes as Daryl played with her hair. The thick locks he played with when they went on runs together. Folding her lips, she rubbed her thumb across his lips.

"If it was just us? What would you do?" Daryl hoped she would answer.

"I. would." Michonne took a deep breath.

It was time to be honest with him. with herself. if not, she would hurt them both. She knew how hard it was for him to reach out to her like this. He was giving her control, but she didn't know if she was ready for it yet.

What would Rick and Carl say? Beth? Carol? They had to enough to fight against. But Daryl's blue eyes gave her the confidence she needed to give herself to him. Placing all fear aside, she kissed him.

It was barely there, but it happened.

"I should go back inside." She said.

"Is that what you want?"

"No but this is how it has to be."


	2. Chapter 2

They were all walking. The hot sun blazed on their backs, but he did not mind that. If anything, he wished it would blaze harder. Physical pain was easier to handle than mental pain. The mental torture Michonne put him through. She didn't even give him a chance to enjoy that kiss. It was over before it began. Darting his eyes at her, she was right beside Rick and Carl. And he was right beside Carol and Beth. He couldn't believe this was how it was supposed to be. Not with both of them unhappy. He slightly jumped when he felt a hand touch his shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Beth asked. Her innocent eyes showed her concern.

After everything she had been through, she still found a reason to smile. To love. To live. He needed her close to always remember this. But it was not her love he wanted.

Weeks passed and he reverted to his old ways. Beth's eyes found Michonne and Rick. Maybe it was because of their growing connection. Daryl used to be his right-hand man. Now that changed. Everything changed. Her father used to be alive. Rick used to be concerned with being a farmer. Why could they not go back in time to the prison? Things were remotely normal. As normal as they could be for this time.

Daryl hated when they stopped to take breaks. It meant that he could no longer keep his body and mind busy. Sitting on the ground, Carol noticed where his eyes were.

"If you miss Rick so much, just tell him." If only she knew.

Michonne knew she hurt him by gravitating towards Rick. But the more Beth and Carol hovered over him…She just needed something to keep her mind off of that kiss. The kiss that had her wanting more. She found herself trying to remember every detail. The way his eyes lit up when they parted. And how they saddened when she left him behind. She tried to not see his eyes watch her closely.

"We need ammo." Rick's observation pulled her from her thoughts. "You alright?" He touched her cheek.

"Yeah. I think I know a place. Not too far from here."

She just hoped Rick would not pry more into her past life. It was not his business how she knew of this place. Her eyes stayed on Carl as he talked to Beth.

"You sure you alright?" He asked again.

"I guess. It's just donning on me that no place can ever be home. Or people."

Rick felt a sting in his heart at that truthful statement. It was what made him hesitate telling her his feelings. It was obvious. And hers for him were too. He had found a family with this woman. A woman that Carl respected. She did not want to replace Lori. He did not want to replace Mike. They just wanted to know there was someone there to confide in again. But that was hard in this world.

"So how long will it take to get to Washington?" Her harsh humor made him smile. "I know that you have a lot on your plate. I don't want you to have to worry about me too."

"I can't help it." Rick grabbed her hand.

Carl smiled at his father and Michonne together. But he also noticed the sadness in Daryl's eyes for the two. His uncle had missed his father in the worst way. Looking at the clear bottle in Beth's hand, the two smiled wickedly.

"nothing wrong with one sip right?" Carl asked.

"Maybe this will give Daryl and Rick a moment." Beth stated. "We could pretend we were back at the prison."

"Not with Garrett and Mary lurking. And waiting to strike."

"They won't." Beth said. "They need us now. And they know it." Carl noticed the intensity in her voice. Ever since Daryl brought her back to them, he knew she was not the same.

**TWDTWDTWDTWD**

Rick shook his head when Carl gave him the bottle of vodka. It just wasn't a good idea to put themselves in this situation. Lowering their guard was not an option. Handing Carl back the bottle, he looked at his son with a hint of disappointment.

"Dad. It's not what you think." Carl explained. "It's that. I was hoping you and Daryl could share a drink together. Not too much. It's his favorite." Michonne knew that all too well.

The nights they drank together. Telling eac hother their fears of this world. Of their past worlds. It was more than the liquor that made her comfortable around him. It was because he didn't expect much from her. Their search for the governor solidified this bond.

Rick knew his heart was in the right place, but they could not afford to be stupid now. His missed Daryl's friendship tremendously. At first he stayed away from Michonne. Now it was him. And he knew why. His brother thought he was interfering. Daryl was far from an intrusion. He needed his hard, silent demeanor.

"I miss us four." Carl said. "I mean. We are still distant and I don't know why."

Michonne's hard exterior was breaking. She was the reason Rick and Daryl's friendship was broken. And like a coward, she hid behind it. Everything she touched crumbled. Why couldn't she have been stronger? That kiss was the worst thing she could have possibly done at the moment.

"Me neither." Rick agreed. "I'll go talk to him."

This was all his fault. Rick had tended to Carl and Michonne more than his brother. But it wasn't because he didn't care about him. He had given Daryl too much credit. Everyone had a breaking point. Just because he acted like he didn't need anyone didn't mean he didn't need him.

Daryl saw Rick approach him. He was preparing himself to look the man who he stabbed in the back in the eyes. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he saw Michonne watch them closely.

"Daryl." Rick stopped himself. He hoped Daryl would help him out with his words.

"Rick. I..." Daryl folded his lips. "I fucked up." His guilt guided his tongue. He couldn't keep this a secret anymore.

"No. I did." Rick stated.

"What I did to yah. It was wrong. I can understand if yah don't want tah."

"No Daryl. It's what I did to you. When we got back, all I could think about is Carl."

"I ain't blamin yah fer that. What he went through….."

"But I am. After that one conversation I thought you were alright. But I wasn't. and that is how I should have known you weren't either. You've had my back from the beginning. I don't want that to change. I need you."

"Rick. You don't understand. I did something…" Daryl wished Rick could give him the chance to talk.

"I forgive you with Joe. I know you were with him to survive. That you had lost Beth. Now you have her. Everything is going to be fine now." Daryl nodded. "Besides I need my brother's help."

Michonne pulled out her map. Never would she have thought that traveling and seeing so many places would help her out in the long run. And it surprisingly brought her closer to Terry. He was the reason she had this sword. And his love for antiques and weapons brought her to this place. It would be much quicker if she went alone. 2 days tops. But she already knew Rick wouldn't let her do that. She said it herself stupid would get you killed. Maybe that was what she wanted.

She felt them approaching her. Daryl was approaching her. And it would take all her strength to focus on Rick.

"Michonne. Are you sure this is the right location?" Rick asked.

"Yes. I've been here many times. I'll be back before you miss me." Michonne put the map in her bag. "Just make sure Carl doesn't try to follow." Daryl watched the parents laugh about their child.

"It still ain't guaranteed that this place is promised 'Chonne. Yah always want to run off on impulse." Daryl offered his opinion. Maybe he said this to disrupt their moment. He wished he was allowed to look at her the way Rick could.

"I do not run off." She bit. Of all people, why did Rick have to tell Daryl about this? She wasn't his business. But there was a part of her that he was speaking up. He was the only one who was not afraid to say how he felt.

"I didn't mean it like that. Yah don't have to bite my head off every damn time someone don't agree wit yah." The two began to argue.

"You always do this." Michonne challenged. "Accusing me of abandoning you guys. Like you guys don't mean anything to me."

"We probably don't." He whispered under his breath, but he knew she heard him.

Rick watched them go back and forth. Michonne had a strong personality. But Daryl was not afraid to speak up for himself either. Never had they seemed so enraged. But he knew Daryl was scared of losing their family again.

"'Chonne. Daryl didn't mean it like that. We all want you safe." Rick cupped her face. All she could see was Daryl's hurt eyes on them.

Good. She would hurt him like he hurt her.

He turned his back to them. He did his best to make her stay with them. But once again, she had to run. If he had learned to be around them, why couldn't she? Why couldn't she be around him? Why was she hard-headed to think she could do this alone? Walkers. Unneighborly people. They had had this conversation before.

"Daryl could you go with Michonne?" Rick's request caught Michonne by surprise.

Of course Rick couldn't leave with her. He had to lead the others.

"I don't know Rick." Michonne stated.

"Why not? You two are unstoppable together. At least with him, I am guaranteed that I will see you again. He can make a weapon out of anything. Hotwire a car."

"You will see me again." Michonne assured as Rick kissed her cheek.

Daryl had to walk away from this.

He couldn't tell Rick no but they couldn't be alone together. If Rick hadn't have been there he would have kissed her again. The only thing he could focus on were her dark eyes and how her lips puckered when she was angry…

"here you go." Beth handed him the bottle. "I know you won't drink it, but I just want you to know that I am thinking about you."

"I know." He saw Michonne watch them. Her cold exterior never faded, but he knew he was hurting her.

"I knew that when we burned down that cabin, you were someone that I always wanted in my life. And when you found me, I knew I was important to you. I just hope you come back to me." Beth hugged him.

"I will." He gave her a knife. "Remember to watch yer back."

"I will." Beth rubbed his cheek.

She watched the two leave. If anyone could survive, it would be them.

**TWDTWDTWDTWD**

This was what she wanted. For him to forget her. And that kiss. But it didn't stop the knife from being plunged in her heart deeper. How could he burn it down? It was their place together. As they walked, she made sure to put distance between them. Their eyes caught each other from time to time. But that didn't make them lower their guards. Walking in the woods, they kept their eyes on the open territory. Putting their strife in the back of their minds.

"How long will it take us to get to this warehouse?" Daryl noticed the walker tracks.

"1 hour. Don't worry. Walkers haven't been around here for 3." She stated. At least she was paying attention to his teachings.

"Meanwhile we have to look for shelter soon." He pointed to the clouds. "This is what I'm talking about. Yah and yer impulsive actions."

"Don't you start. I always think. I am always doing what is best for everyone. For Rick. Carl. You. But as always you have to act like a child when I don't do what you want."

"Yah should know about being a child. Actin out. Sayin stuff. Doin stuff to get back at meh. Hiding behind that block wall yah built. Acting like we cant be together for Rick and Carl's sake. But I know why we can't be together."

"O you do." She folded her arms. His words always shook her to the core.

"Yeah. It's because yer scared. That's the thing. Yah do it fer us, but what about yah. What do you want? Is it so hard tah want to be happy? Yah didn't need to go for this ammo and yah know it. Rick may think that you are alright because yah hide it so well. But I know yah ain't. Yah don't have to hide no more." He touched her cheek.

"I'm done talking to you." Michonne lowered her weapon as they continued walking.

"Well I ain't done talking to yah." The thunder clasped. "Why did you want to do this by yourself? Were you really hoping you wouldn't make it back alive?" He stood in her path.

"Get out of my way." She raised her voice as he kept blocking her path.

"Hell nah." He continued his actions. "Tell meh."

"Because I don't care what happens to me alright. Everyone just says they care for me but they don't. They never did. Rick just cares because I support him with Carl." She exploded.

"Rick loves yah fer the same reason I do. Because yer bold. Fierce. Determined. Nothing can stop yah." He touched her shoulders.

Daryl let it slip, but it was the truth. He did love her. And he couldn't stop. The void inside of him was because of her. He was used to living with pain but not this kind. She thought everyone forgot about her, but it was him they forgot.

"You don't love me Daryl. If you did, then you wouldn't have done what you did." She tried to make sense of this all.

"Michonne, I thought you were dead that's why I burned it down." His anger grew. "I didn't want to think about yah. Or deal with tha thought of yah dead. Yah ain't the only one who has the right to be upset. "

"Daryl."

"No. it's my time to speak." He silenced her.

"Did yah ever think about how I felt when ya kissed meh and ya just walked away. No yah didn't because yah don't care. You don't. Do you know what's it like to watch Rick touch yah and yah not stop him? I should be upset with yah. But what I feel fer yah…" His throat grew hoarse.

"I love you Daryl. I knew it the minute you came back to me. " Both were emotionally drained from arguing with one another. Loving one another. Wanting one another.

The rain lightly pattered on the ground. It was not loud enough to drown out the anger and betrayal they both felt for one another. Despite this, their love overpowered it.

"I knew it the moment I came from looking for the governor. I came back for you." Her eyes shined with tears.

"I got to find a car." He began to walk away.

He had waited to hear those words, but he could not enjoy it. It was another let down for the future. But since that night, her icy mask cracked. And though he hated to see her cry, she had to feel what she did to him.

"You can't do that." Michonne's voice cracked.

"Yah mean walk away like you did meh." His feet kept moving. "Completely ignoring how I feel. Only thinkin yah are doing us both a favor when yah aint." He felt a grip on his wrist.

"Why do you make this seem simple when it's not. Not even close. Will you just stop?"

"You never answered my question. What do yah want?" The two both ignored the rain falling.

"I told you when I kissed you." Daryl didn't have to search her eyes to know this was the truth.

"That ain't good enough."

"Then what is?" He closed the gap between them.

This time their kiss was desperate, yet slow. They didn't know how long this would last. As the rain pattered, their bodies melted together. Gripping his shoulders, Michonne gave his tongue entrance. His calloused hands gripped her hair. She didn't mind his firm touch. Her hands did the same.

Daryl was lost in the feel of her hands in his hair. He heard her light moans as their tongues twirled together. His hands rested on her waist. This was the moment he had waited for. She trusted her instincts. This was right.


End file.
